a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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