Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
