i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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