i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
