How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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