This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
