No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Boobs speak an international language.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Sext me about skeletons
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
