in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize