Banned from zoo.
Again?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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