So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
