White coat. Heels.
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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