so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
