kristin has been a bad kristin
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
