Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize