I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize