i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
