it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Randomize
