Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
