there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
