I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the day after is always just damage control
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
