Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
