Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
