I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
