I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
