I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
