i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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