someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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