i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
