yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
