u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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