dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
