i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
