You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
