Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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