It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
