i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
