My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
