Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
