Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I wish i was in the wii world.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
