oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
