too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
