You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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