Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
