wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
