Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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