well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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