yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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