we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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