Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize