My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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