we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
