i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
