Who did Billy Mays play for?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
