I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
