A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
