Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
