Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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