Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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