you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
