i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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