I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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