had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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