I think i peed on brittanys purse
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
