The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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