You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
