what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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