i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
