he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
